Sunday, September 30, 2007

Guy Rundle - recent work 4: sport and occasional

An existential plateau
after the battle of wills
FIRST WORD
CANBERRA TIMES 10.02.07
Guy RUNDLE
THE new year found me in St Ives, the famous former
smuggling town/artists’ colony on Britain’s Cornwall
coast, as the winter darkness started to abate,
and cold southern sunlight emerged from
the clouds.
With a town full of cobbled back alleys
and a countryside of winding ways to
explore, there was only one thing to do –
hunker down in a dark room for a
fortnight and watch the snooker.
Snooker is famously boring, but those
who find it so labour under the misapprehension
that it is a game involving balls
and sticks. It’s a battle of wills no more
confined to the green baize than King
Lear is a primer on the problems of aged
care. And last month’s London Masters
was one of the most eagerly awaited
tournaments for years, due to the return to
the table of ‘‘Rocket’’ Ronnie O’Sullivan,
the mercurial overlord of the game,
for whom fans will queue in wind, rain
and darkness.
Dark-haired and saturnine of demeanour,
O’Sullivan is by common consent
the greatest natural talent in living
memory, moving around the table with a
barely contained animal energy, setting
up the next red-ball shot well before the
referee has replaced the coloured ball.
Six of the seven fastest maximum 147
breaks (in which the player pots every
red, a black off every red and then all the
coloureds) in history are his, including –
at five minutes, 20 seconds, a pot every
eight seconds – the fastest ever. When
he’s on form, he’s unvanquishable.
‘‘When’’ being the key word, for
O’Sullivan is skittish as a thoroughbred.
An East Ender, with a father who once
ran with the Kray brothers and is
currently doing a life stretch for murder,
O’Sullivan is strung at such a high pitch
that games other players would, well,
murder to have played send O’Sullivan
into spirals of despair. He’s sat out whole
tournaments, been treated for depression,
converted to Islam, all in a search for a
degree of tranquillity.
As far as winners go, it looked like the
London Masters had one in Ding Junhui,
a 19-year-old Chinese man of genuinely
spooky accuracy, beyond even O’Sullivan’s
sureness. But as Ding’s postmatch
press conferences revealed, he was
a player whose natural talent and hothouse
adolescence had left him with an
emotional age of about 12. Before a
crowd partisan for O’Sullivan, and facing
the master’s very best game, Ding fell
apart, leaving the auditorium halfway
through and having to be coaxed back,
whereupon he had to sit, openly weeping,
as O’Sullivan racked up two more
century breaks. You’d have to be a sadist
to not find it hard to watch, but when
O’Sullivan sank the winning ball, an
extraordinary thing happened – before a
barracking and at times nastily aggressive
crowd O’Sullivan held Ding close
and whispered consolation in his ear.
O’Sullivan had, for the moment, reached
an existential plateau; Ding was just
beginning on the path to it.
Or just possibly I should get out more.

Guy Rundle recent work 3: media commentary

Not a laughing matter
Author: GUY RUNDLE
Date: 23/11/2006
Words: 934
Source: AGE
Publication: The Age
Section: Green Guide
Page: 20


Excessively earnest, Radio National could use the BBC as a model to lighten up, writes Guy Rundle.

TODAY I feel in the mood for comedy, so I might have a slice of Little Britain. Or maybe sample a half-hour of Goodness Gracious Me. Or The League of Gentleman, or a half-dozen other programs like them. Most of them are easily gettable on the internet, not thanks to a sudden quantum leap in online TV availability, but because I'm talking about the radio shows on which the successful TV versions were based. They all premiered on BBC Radio Four over the past decade, just a few of the dozens, if not hundreds, of comedy, drama, game and panel shows that BBC Radio sees as part of its mission, and one of the principal ways in which public radio plays a central role in British life and gains an audience far beyond that which it would otherwise gain.

It's also one of the principal differences between the BBC and the ABC. Anyone who thinks the ABC slavishly follows British trends might feel heartened by the very different feel of Radio Four and our Radio National. But for this listener cum addict of both services, it's one area where a bit more reference back to the British model might be of advantage. For a variety of historical and political reasons, Radio National has arrived at a point where its brief is so narrowed that there seems little scope for a more pluralist and all-encompassing approach to advancing the best there is in a culture.

It's awful to kick Aunty when she's down, but without denying that, at its best, it can be about the best radio in the world, at its worst it can sound like student community AM Brisbane, circa 1976. You do sometimes get the impression that there's about a 40 per cent chance, when switching to the station, to hear the words ". . . and the needs of Third World women" (unless you tune into Counterpoint, where you will usually first hear ". . . and the quasi-religious nature of the Green movement"). It is, in other words, excessively earnest, its manifestly inadequate budget given over almost entirely to our improvement.

Radio Four, by contrast, devotes about 20-25 per cent of its airtime to comedy and drama, which is a good thing in itself and gives a different cast to the entire service.

The comedy consists of long-running shows such as The News Quiz, a panel-based satirical review of the week, The Sunday Format, a bizarre audio parody of newspapers, and sketch shows such as Dead Ringers or the aforementioned shows that went on to become TV staples. In addition to that, there are four- or six-part comedy series, one radio play a day and sundry one-offs and specials.

Much of this would be impossible for the ABC to achieve - the BBC has about five times per capita the budget of the ABC, thanks to the dedicated revenue of the license fee. But there is no reason why a proportion of it could not become part of Radio National's schedule. Quite simply, some of the current-affairs series with separate programs - philosophy and religion, for example - could be folded into one, and the money used for comedy and drama.

The great virtue of radio is that it doesn't require a change in budget to match outlandish settings. In effect, a good comedy series consists of two writer-performers, a sound-effects CD, a producer and a studio. Compared to the costs involved in even establishing a TV series, it's minuscule - and the impact and pleasure generated give you a lot of bang for your buck. Such a tranche of programs would expand the appeal of Radio National and would also allow comedy writers and performers to develop their skills, to experiment and to perform above their best - at the moment, all that's available is the sub-adolescent audio wallpaper of breakfast FM.

There's a smattering of comedy on local ABC radio, but why has there never been a significant comedy stream on Radio National? Various attempts to establish comedy units have come and gone, most with as much support and security as a UN post on the Lebanon border. The answer, sadly, is that there seems to be a basic left-liberal snobbery within ABC radio to the idea of satire or even simple fun. And there is no way of establishing TV-radio links until a radio comedy stream is established in the first place.

With a new managing director and head of TV in place, maybe there's a chance that moves can be made towards such an approach. Maybe it's already under way, though I won't be holding my breath to see it burst forth. But until this sort of change is made, Radio National will be falling short of fully enacting the injunctions of the charter, and, bizarrely, among the best-loved shows will be the ancient BBC comedy game shows - My Music and such - playing at 6am, a long-dead audience laughing at jokes by long-dead performers.

Perhaps it's permitted by the radio heads on the grounds that it's far more macabre than it is funny.




The time is ripe for humour with a twist
Author: GUY RUNDLE
Date: 18/11/2006
Words: 1277
Source: AGE
Publication: The Age
Section: A2
Page: 19


When truth is stranger than fiction, it demands closer scrutiny, writes Guy Rundle.
CHRISTIAN FUNDAMENTALIST congressmen writing love letters to page boys, a war in which it was necessary to destroy a country in order to save it, an heiress marketing her own stolen sex tapes, a cleric threatened with being chucked out - for the sin of sexism - from Australia, an asylum-seeker regime that spends hundreds of millions to prevent the admission of people who might become an economic burden, and the country's largest publishing empire becoming its premier owner of casinos: what times we live in. No wonder that a prominent satirist has asked, in anguish, for someone to name a time when vice was more rampant and the maw of avarice gaped wider. Can we, he asks, name a time when gambling was more reckless?

A challenge indeed, save for the fact that the satirist in question was Juvenal, writing of Rome in about AD120. "In such times," he concluded, "why, then, it is harder not to write satires."

Note that complaint, the inversion of the satirist's usual lament, that reality has outstripped one's capacity to expose its absurd character. Tom Lehrer famously claimed that he gave up satire the day that Henry Kissinger won the Nobel peace prize and, in our own time, satire has been undergoing a sort of revolution, as the ground beneath its feet has begun to shift: the wave of prosperity that rolled selectively across the West over the past decade has given so many people a sort of privatised existence - the somewhat isolated nuclear homestead connected to the world and other people by broadband cable TV - and made a whole series of prior political questions apparently irrelevant to the general populace.

Lying, blatant contradiction, horrendous violence elsewhere, were widely seen as things that concerned the dwindling band of trainspotters concerned with that obscure hobby, politics. But for decades satirists - Lehrer, Beyond the Fringe, Patrick Cook - could rely on there being a substantial subclass of people for whom these matters were central to everyday life. It is a tribute to the awesome failure of the Bush-Blair-Howard project that actual political satire has come rushing back years before its natural return and these larger categories have emerged on the horizon once again. In the meantime, satire went in a lot of highly productive different directions. With the rise of The Simpsons it took on the conditions of everyday life in America, where the collapse of the education system and the rise of the media had created the first large-scale reverse in public intelligence since the Enlightenment.

With Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm, satire was fused to comedy of manners and they became the natural successors of The Importance of Being Earnest, the single funniest play in history. But neither show would work if they did not communicate a general sense of futility encoded within the particular social disasters that form the substance of each episode.

But if there was any one element that really showed a new direction, it was The Onion, the satirical newspaper begun in the late '80s at the University of Wisconsin in Madison, long an oasis of radical thinking in a conformist Midwest, and now essentially the world's satirical weekly. For much of the Clinton years, The Onion essentially used politics as a sort of non-satirical lure, a source for purely comical stories in which the routine of postmodern politics became the focus ("Clinton Googles self"; "Clinton meets guy with tie"; "Clinton fumbles with submarine controls; Everything's in German! he shouts") which foregrounded its sharper attacks on the mindless bubble world of American consumerism ("Scientists isolate Pepsi-resistant gene"; "Alaska-Yukon moose dimly aware of Drew Barrymore's career path"; "New crispy snack cracker to ease crushing pain of modern life").

OFTEN the stories used the relentless metaphorisation of hype to contrast its triviality. Much of the humour relied on the technique of litotes or humorous understatement - a staple also of the John Clarke-Bryan Dawe interviews - which worked as a sort of contrast to the heightened energy of the previous generation of Lenny Bruce, George Carlin-style satire. Others found that the willingness of a mediatised world to supply such rich absurdity meant that satire had to come out of the fictional frame and convince people to incriminate themselves. Norman Gunston was a sometime-satirical forerunner of this trend, but it really became central in the UK with shows such as Chris Morris's extraordinary Brass Eye, in which celebrities were persuaded to record public health warnings about a drug called cake - "Cake is a made-up drug affecting the area of the brain known as Shatner's Bassoon," Noel Edmonds (the UK's Daryl Somers) says dead-straight to camera.

In Australia, The Chaser extended the format by turning the fake news show into a full variety hour - only months ahead of news programmers themselves, one suspects. The formal innovation of satire has left many old ways of doing it for dead, and one could argue that for all the talent of the participants in The Glass House, and the political shenanigans behind its departure, the form was simply too unstructured to survive in a new context.

Indeed, part of the problem with contemporary satire is the silted-up heritage of older forms. The Simpsons got this exactly in their Lisa Goes to Washington episode when the family are serenaded by endless sub-Lehrer satirical songsters ("what about the deficit - we sure made a mess of it", "but these songs are all the same", "shhhh Bart") and the fact that a sort of satire-lite has become a release-valve for people's manifold resentment of authority. The ubiquitous FM breakfast teams now range over the news with jokes that tend to the cynical rather than the satirical - that all politicians are liars, all causes are self-interested - which is less designed to smite folly or evil than it is to make bearable the meaningless busy-work of the office that the listener is heading towards.

From Swift to Evelyn Waugh, some of the sharpest satire has been from conservatives deeply sceptical of the dominant current of ideas. Nor do today's Tories lack material - how could they in a world where Sean Penn begins an anti-war hunger strike on the same day Saddam Hussein does? But so many of them are so desperate to be in the big tent pissing out that they lack the cool head necessary at the heart of satire. Thus Mark Steyn was still predicting a Republican victory in Congress days before the full scale of the calamity unfolded. Such wishful thinking is the enemy of satire, coming from psychological need rather than critical reflection. For a time, with the neoliberal project at its zenith, satire from the left was often reduced to the uncomfortable position of keeping the home fires burning, of reminding people of the absurdity of one-word-under-Halliburton "liberalism", while right-wing satire could rapidly degenerate to little more than a triumphal cackle. Now that the right can no longer rely on a contemptuous smirk to cover the relationship between truth and power, and must fight more actively to gain the commanding heights, will they have what it takes to challenge new orthodoxies? We'll see what they're made of as the world turns on its axis.

Guy Rundle recent work 2: travel

Two recent travel pieces

The Australian
Edition 5 - TravelSAT 10 JUN 2006, Page 007
GOING CHEAP By Guy Rundle
Guy Rundle presents his tried-and-tested guide to low-cost flights around Europe
FOR decades, the budget traveller in Europe accepted that the necessary but painful core of the experience was covering the distance between the glittering capitals either wedged in the seat of a bus designed for tiny people, crawling through the industrial district of some hell-hole at 3am, or sharing a Kombi with a Dutch hippie named Wim with a theory about Frank Zappa and the moon landings.But that's all changed in the past 10 years. The cheap-flight revolution began in the late 1990s and now the continent is crisscrossed with every conceivable route, from the big capitals to disused military airports put back into service. With proper planning you can save hundreds of dollars on a holiday, but it takes a bit of work and lateral thinking.
1. Set aside a few hours for research: There are about a dozen notable cheap airlines and a range of more obscure ones, and the best way to get a good deal (if you are a little flexible about destination and date) is to compare as many as possible and try a few route combinations with different airlines. This is best done manually, website by website. There are several websites that purport to find the cheapest available flights but they're rarely completely up to date (prices can change within a day), and they often don't include the smaller airlines.The largest of the cheap airlines is Irish carrier Ryanair, with a network centred on London, Dublin, Barcelona and Berlin. It is aggressively trying to cement its leading position, building customer loyalty by offering free flights -- that is, for one euro cent, plus about E10 ($17) in taxes.Second largest is Easyjet, the company that really kick-started the low-cost flight revolution, but it certainly isn't the cheapest player on the market. Other carriers have their specialties -- Skyeurope, for example, is centred on Bratislava, the otherwise dispensable capital of Slovakia, and great for southeastern Europe. Wizzair specialises in Poland and surrounds. BMI Baby flies from regional British cities to Europe and has no flights out of London except for a few British Airways services.
2. Be thorough: There are many valid reasons why a really cheap flight could be lurking amid a range of more expensive ones. A carrier may be offering a destination at, say, E60 including taxes for 12 or 13 days and, right in the middle, there's one for E5. Why? Who knows? Maybe there was a one-way charter booked. Maybe it's a plane that has to be rerouted to get the schedule back in kilter. Keep various websites open in multiple windows, and jump from site to site. It's worthwhile keeping notes as you go to avoid getting lost in a variety of options.Two carriers that save research time by having an automatic lowest-fare search function are Jet2 and Thomsonfly. Unfortunately, most of their flights leave from Leeds or Sheffield, respectively. The others make you trawl, presumably in the hope you'll tire and book a mid-price fare.
3. Be flexible with dates and cities: The cheapest flights are at least a couple of weeks out and usually, but not always, in the early morning. Be flexible about destinations, too: many such flights are cheap because they are going to underused airports, and it's worth looking at the cities close to where you want to go and considering nearby alternatives.If you can find a cheap flight from London to Madrid, for example, well, congratulations, you don't need to read any further, but otherwise you might try flying into Santander (in the north of Spain) or Valladolid. Never heard of either? No matter: they are a two-hour or three-hour train ride or drive from Madrid, and flights there from Britain should be at rock-bottom prices.The alternative gateway strategy is particularly useful in countries with multiple destinations and cheap local transport, such as Portugal and Poland.You can even fly into one country to get to another -- for instance, the best way into Andalusia in Spain might be to take a flight to the Portuguese city of Faro, where a bus ticket or car rental to Seville will be much cheaper than flying direct.But beware the idiosyncrasies of local transport networks. It's easy to be too clever by half and arrive in Szczecin just after the departure of the twice-weekly train to Warsaw.
4. Make careful note of where the airports actually are: Many airports are only nominally in the city listed as their destination. Flying to Grenoble gets you to Lyons and a shuttle bus. The classic is Frankfurt, as what you're actually flying into is an airport called Frankfurt (Hahn), a couple of hundred kilometres from the city, with a half-dozen cities closer to it than the one after which it is named. Factoring in the cost of getting to the airport is crucial: it may well be more expensive than the actual flight.
5. Be careful booking multiple-leg journeys: The low-cost airlines are point-to-point, which means that even if you're connecting via the same airline, it won't automatically rebook a flight you missed because an earlier one was late. This is particularly important in winter when fog in Europe's north can delay takeoff by hours. Most airlines will rebook at a cost -- as much as pound stg. 40 ($100) -- that could be more than the actual ticket.Ideally, aim to arrive in the early morning and leave late afternoon from the same airport (landing in Stansted and taking off from Gatwick is to be avoided at all costs), thus saving the cost of a hotel.
6. Book return flights well ahead: It's easy to grab a cheap outward flight, forget to book a return and suddenly realise the only flights available have skyrocketed to full commercial prices. One solution, if your return date isn't all that definite, is to book multiple return flights. It may seem crazy but it's cheaper to book flights costing E15 out on, say, three consecutive Tuesday mornings six weeks ahead, rather than waiting until two days before you go and then paying E150. (Of course, you won't be refunded for unused seats.)Once you get over the weirdness of booking flights as if you were betting on a roulette table, you'll see it makes sense.
7. Be lateral: It might be cheaper and quicker to fly in a V-shape than to take a train between two destinations. It may well be easier to get from Esbjerg in Denmark to Gothenburg in Sweden -- and who among us hasn't needed to -- by flying into and out of Geneva (on different carriers) than it would be to take the two trains necessary to get there.
8. Be open-minded: One of the best things about the cheap-flight era is that it has opened up cities we might otherwise never have considered. Be willing to take pot luck and go where the cheap fares lead you. Who knew that the Pyrenees city of Pau would be such a mysterious border town? Or how about Lubeck in Germany, the city that invented marzipan and seems to run on it still? But don't feel too much like a carefree jetsetter: Ryanair has introduced a policy of charging extra for non-cabin luggage and other carriers are likely to follow.
* www.easyjet.com* www.ryanair.com* www.flybe.com* www.flyglobespan.com* www.flymonarch.com* www.jet2.com* www.bmibaby.com* www.skyeurope.com* www.thomsonfly.com* www.wizzair.com Illus: ArtworkIllusBy: Paul NewmanColumn: Travel

www.theaustralian.com.au

Wonderland of faded glory
Author: Guy RundleDate: 10/06/2006 Words: 1922 Source: AGE
Publication: The AgeSection: TravelPage: 1
Guy Rundle ventures to Porto, an imperial grande dame long since fallen on hard times.

Beneath an old art nouveau streetlamp, all metal leaves and curlicues, the man in the grey fedora is lighting a cigarette for the girl. Yellow light spills over the shoulders of his grey flannel suit. They're at the peak of a hill with the slender, delicately twisted baroque tower of the Church of the Clericos behind. People are hurrying to the station, some stopping off in the small side street bars, little more than a single beer tap and a few stools. The sides of the houses are dark with centuries of grime, but the street cobbles are a riot of colour, splashed pink, blue and yellow from the neon signs that hang outside each doorway, elegant, moderne.
It could be a scene from Edward Hopper, the visual poet of empty cities and faded glamour. In fact, it's a vision of the old world rather than the new, a winter evening in Porto, the second city of Portugal, an imperial grande dame long since fallen on hard times, and only now climbing out of them.
Although it scarcely lacks for accolades - its medieval heart is a UNESCO world heritage site; it was a European City of Culture - it remains relatively untouristed, one of the last ancient cities in western Europe so to be. While Lisbon seems headed towards a period in the sun as one of the great boutique cities of Europe, joining the eclectic company of Reyjkavik, Ljubljana and, er, Cork, Porto has either escaped, or missed out on, not only the current cheap air fares tourist boom, but also much of the latter half of the 20th century.
Like many second cities, it has neither the iconic pull of a capital city nor the seeming authenticity of a small village. Famous for being the home of port wine, with port bodegas - distilleries - lining one side of the river Douro, it is nevertheless a working town that does not orient itself overmuch towards visitors. The fedoraed and besuited men, the women in floral print dresses struggling up and down the numberless hills of the city, do not see themselves through the tourist gaze, do not feel themselves to be somewhere picturesque - which inevitably and paradoxically makes this city a rare experience, a must-see. The old shopfronts, the church facades come across in alleyways, and everywhere the houses decorated with hand-worked tiles - some shattered in the street below - ensure that its attraction lies in the fact that it is not merely forgotten but forlorn, a place made strange by its simple endurance. Its store of medieval treasures are neither better, nor worse than a dozen other cities, but they're beside the point. It is a city to sample for the ambience, for the sense of times past pooling; marooned.
Of course, it was not always thus. Porto was once one of the great cities of Europe, during, in the words of Hans Magnus Enzesberger, "that improbable moment in the sixteenth century when Portugal ruled the world". Turned towards the ocean, and a gateway to Europe, possibly since Phoenician times - the country's name "Porto do Cale" or "Cale Port" derives from it - it was from here, advancing downward, that the nation was formed in the vacuum created by the retreating Moors. It was the seat of the Portuguese kings, the home of its academies, and it is still a centre of its incomparable "fado" music, the slow melancholic folk blues, the lyrics of which extol the beauty of sadness and with endless tales of doomed love that make Leonard Cohen sound like Tiny Tim on laughing gas.
The city grew from a small town nestled near the Douro up and over the steep hills that surround it. Today it is still the hills that strike you - in the legs and lungs as much as the eyes - as a defining feature of the city. Steeper than Edinburgh, it can become vertiginous - turn a corner and the street will fall away before you. At other points, the pavement becomes steps as the slope becomes a climb rather than a walk. Strikingly, the geography has had its effect on the Portuenses - the population seems to be uniformly fit and wiry, hardened in the daily struggle against gravity.
Though it lost its title as capital to Lisbon early on, Porto retained a role as a commercial headquarters, not only for the northern industrialised region of Portugal (such as it is) but also for trade with the new world, and it was this that accounted for its second period of glory in the early part of the 20th century. Despite losing major possessions such as Brazil, the Portuguese retained a sizeable colonial empire with areas such as Angola and Mozambique. In retrospect it is not the country's most creditable period - of all the colonial empires (save for the Belgian), the Portuguese built the least and ripped off the most and it was Porto that the wealth of minerals and produce flowed through.
The old city was one of stucco and plaster, with the myriad port manufactories dominating one side of the river and two and three-storey houses and courtyards up and down the hills on the other side. The modernising boom left the centre of the city with a fund of striking art deco architecture, and the style spread throughout the shops and cafes in the older buildings. As the Salazar dictatorship closed the country off politically from the rest of Europe, Porto became an island of elegance and wealth. And then the '50s came, the colonies revolted, the wealth dried up and Porto simply stopped. As the European postwar boom bypassed the entire country, Porto froze in time, its buildings peeling and crumbling, its elegant interiors left unrenovated.
The result is that it's a wonderland of faded glory and another example of a city that does not know what it has. Those interested in the more traditional tourist attractions can visit the half-dozen churches that show the "azulejo" style at their best. Azulejo is a type of blue-painted or printed white tile, some of them - as on the facade of the Santo Ildefonso church (Praca de Batalla) - of extraordinary individual detail, others such as at the Almas Chapel (Rua de Santa Catarina) making large designs (the death of St Francis in this case) from hundreds of tiles. There are also good examples of them at the cathedral, though the cathedral itself is relatively unspectacular as cathedrals go.
Other attractions include tours of the port bodegas on the other side of the river (technically another town known as Gaia) and the port wine museum. The tourist office will urge you on to these, but they are really no more interesting than your average school excursion. Indeed, the best way to experience Porto is simply to wander around it. It's not to everybody's taste, but if you're the sort of person who likes the indefinable mystery of a good film noir, a De Chirico painting, a Paul Auster novel, then you'll feel pleasingly not-at-home in Porto.
At any street corner in Porto there are a dozen interesting sites - a chemist shop with the rounded windows and clean-white lines of "ocean liner" art deco, a bar with a long zinc counter and body, tapered and flashing brilliant metallic white, an unassuming stationery shop that is a masterpiece of art nouveau, with varnished wood detailed in metal strands spreading out like the lines of a fern.
Some of it is simply poor and rundown - the bus station, with its fake walnut panels, '50s lettering and buzzing fluoro, looks like a set from countless films noirs - but the whole effect is never less than striking.
Yet if there is one place where the whole style is expressed at its purest, it's in the cake shops. As befits a city caught in the '50s - when people ate about three times the amount of cake they eat now - these are everywhere, on every corner. The city is a giant Acland Street. Enormous vanilla slices, concertinas of cream, vie for space with the egg-custard tarts that have become famous as Portuguese tarts round the world.
Here they come in a dozen different sizes and versions. The shops - always with seating, always with a bar - are the focal point of Porto social life. People dash in for a pre-work coffee and croissant, for a morning tea or beer, for lunch - and everyone, but everyone stops in after work before going home. There are etched mirrors, there are marble-topped tables, there are long bars. People have one or two beers, a cake or a baked ham and cheese roll, and then at about a quarter to six, as if a whistle has blown, everyone disappears home.
Like the Spanish, the Portuguese eat late, around 9pm or 10pm. But - another reminder that the country is still of an earlier era - they rarely eat out. Of the hundreds of bars and cafes, fewer than 50 will be open past 7pm. In the whole central city, actual restaurants would number fewer than two dozen.
That doesn't matter, because, as night comes down, Porto has saved the best for last. The museums of neon lighting that have sprung up in Los Angeles and Vegas have nothing on this place - it is a living museum of a time when the neon sign was the epitome of high style. Perhaps uniquely among Western cities it has never torn them down and each evening the sky is lit with a rainbow of colours.
What makes the classic neon sign so distinctive is that it is not simply a backlit panel, as the bulk of lit signs now are. The green, pink, yellow, blue gases are running through glass tubes twisted and blown into the shape desired, an elegance born out of fragility. For some reasons the most ornate signs are those outside optometrists, who seem to have made extensive efforts to outdo each other, with signs that wink and stare, raise their eyebrows, or spiral in one eye and out the other in all the colours that the combination of electricity and noble gases will permit.
Why did they survive here when they have been torn out everywhere else? Who knows, but looking down the hill as a dozen different displays dance in the dusk, it's something to be thankful for - one of those strange regional variations that often go unrecorded because they cannot be fitted into a city's narrative of itself. They charm us so because they are a trip in time as much as space, back to memories of our own cities in an earlier era, before a certain distinctiveness of place was buried under the tides of McDonald's and Officeworks.
Porto, like all of Portugal, is slowly catching up to the rest of the West - its elegant tram system has been retired in favour of a newly built underground (two riverside tram routes survive). Whether it will retain its style remains to be seen - but is the prognosis ever good in these circumstances? If your tastes incline towards the painted shadows rather than the bright lights, you might want to visit before it's too late.
Fast facts
There are no direct flights from Australia to Portugal. TAP and Air Portugalia fly direct to Porto from most European capitals. Ryanair flies twice a day from London Stansted. The city's official tourism website is at www.portoturismo.pt, with a complete guide to city tours and visits to bodegas.

www.theage.com.au




Guy Rundle - recent work 1: daily reporting

Daily Reporting and Interpretation - Crikey
Crikey (www.crikey.com.au) is an Australian daily email newsletter, going to 30,000 subscribers, and covering politics, media, business, arts and sport. I provide a range of material on a daily basis, from European news coverage to Australian political commentary. A selection of articles are excerpted below:
26.09.07
17. Brown signals an end to European integration
Guy Rundle writes:
No-one ever picked up a newspaper without a sense of expectation said GK Chesterton, and no-one ever put one down without a sense of disappointment. Ditto for British political party conferences, which are in full swing this month. They all take place in dying seaside towns - for the plethora of hotel rooms available in off-season - and the forlorn torpor of Blackpool or Bournemouth tends to match the sense of slow death of the modern political system.
It's Labour's turn this week - after a concerted attempt by the leadership to change the rules so that even the minimal degree of debate hitherto on offer was removed. That was resisted, but it's hard to know why the rank and file bothered - there hasn't been a real ding-dong battle on policy for many a year, save for the time when octogenarian Wolfgang Walther heckled Mr Tony's defence of Iraq and was escorted out by Esplanade Hotel style bouncers and threatened with the Prevention of Terrorism Act (he's now on the National Executive Committee).
The headline announcement so far is from defence secretary, the aptly named Des Browne, who
confirmed that the British retreat from Iraq will soon be total, with a full pull-out from Basra as, ha-ha, the Iraqi forces take full responsibility for the gang-run de facto ministate the area is about to become.
But that was always going to happen, as was Gordon Brown's speech in which he leant on the notion of Britishness - using the term 80 times - both as a way of deflecting anti-Scottish feeling against him from the shires, and because he genuinely seems to believe in the notion of a "progressive patriotism" (as advanced by commentators such as David Goodhart of Prospect) as something other than a ludicrous confection of cultural engineering.
No the real biggie was as buried as this lead is -- David Miliband's announcement that the proposed EU Constitution "Treaty" version would be ratified by parliament rather than by public referendum. The Constitution was going to be taken to a referendum in 2006 -- but then the French and Dutch voted it down, and it was all over. British ratification is the lynch pin of progress to the next stage of European integration -- and the fact that it won't be taken to a public vote pretty much marks the end of the 50 year project of marching to ever greater stages of integration, culminating in the creation of a fully federal Europe.
Miliband's announcement, together with Brown's Britishness mantra, suggest that the rug is being very visibly pulled from under any notion of ever greater union. And with other leaders like Poland's Dead Ringersesque Kascinzyki twins talking about Polishness and cutting up rough, today marks the point at which Europe starts to go in a substantially different direction.
That was the actual event of the conference - and even that was a done deal. Perhaps they should just rough up a few OAPs to make it interesting?

25.09.07

27. IMF signals the credit squeeze is far from over
Guy Rundle writes:
Just when you thought it was safe to go back and put in new share orders... comes a report from that wascally bunch of wadicals the IMF that the private equity market is at much at risk of a meltdown as the sub-prime mortgage market, with potentially greater consequences for global investment.
They say there'll be a further tightening of credit, that the sub-prime fall is by no means over, and they conclude that a squeeze on credit is going to expose a whole lot of half-completed LBOs with: "In the near term, financial institutions are exposed to potential syndication risks, with unsold bridge commitments contributing to an overhang in the market."
What the - ? Amazing really that the right attacks cultural studies for meaningless jargon. The upshot is that ovesposed private equity won't be able to get the money to complete the purchase which will mean an asset sale and then a yet higher rate of credit resulting from the resulting fall in confidence - or "haircut contagion" as the IMF calls it, stealing a band name I was going to use.
But what's really going on? There's no point asking bourgeois economists - their ideas are to reality what a Mazda engine manual is to quantum mechanics. A great way to run very specific parts of the world, while actually understanding none of it.
The huge amounts of money sloshing around the West - private equity at one end, house price inflation at the other - is not a result of prosperity, but of sluggishness. As Robert Brenner has demonstrated, real Western economic growth has been no more than 2% per annum for decades now, and that is effectively going backwards.
You can count pet shampooing and wedding planners in GDP if you want to - it doesn't mean that $1 billion of them is real compared to $1 billion worth of steel mills in China.
Yes, there's the multiplier effect etc etc, but sooner or later the bill comes in and it's revealed that large sections of the economy are guaranteed against nothing.
That doesn't mean a capitalism-ending crisis anytime soon - as the post-marxian economist Phil Shannon has noted it's the mildness of recent reversals which are interesting, not their crisis nature.
But it does mean that the abiding illusion - that because you invest in something physically solid like a house it will retain and grown in value - is over. Or should be.
But what greater more cherished illusion has there been for millions of Westerners that they have somehow got out of the trap of work without accumulation? And how will they cope with its demise?
http://www.crikey.com.au/Business/20070925-IMF-signals-the-credit-squeeze-is-far-from-over.html

21.09.07

16. Lebanese vote an exercise in confusion
Guy Rundle writes:
It's always good to start a political campaign off with a bang. In Lebanon's case it was another political assassination, this time of
Antonie Ghanem, a pro-western member of the Christian Phalange party. Ghanem has been cited as a possible compromise candidate for President in the parliamentary vote due on September 25th.
But the main question that has got everyone talking is not who will win, but whether the vote will take place at all. If sufficient members boycott it, the Lebanese political system will enter its worst political crisis since the end of the 1975 - 1990 civil war/invasion period.
The dispute centres around the determination of pro-western PM Fouad Siniora to continue governing, even though a good chunk of his cabinet has resigned in protest at his attempts to curry favour with Washington even at the expense of Lebanon's interest in the region.
The various opposition parties argue that the presidential vote requires a two-thirds support; Siniora's supporters, by some fancy interpretation of the constitution argue that a simple majority will suffice. They have threatened to hold the vote anyway and select a President on that basis.
To get around that, incumbent pro-Syrian President Lahoud has said that he will appoint a caretaker government led by the head of the army.
The US has said that it will not interfere in Lebanon's affairs - it's just that it
won't recognise a PM appointed by Lahoud, even though such an act is arguably constitutional. Not that they're interefering or nothing.
This would leave Lebanon with two presidents and two PMs - and the potential for another state, this one on the frontline with Israel, to fall into the sort of chaos that allows militant groups open slather.
Would Israel invade again in those circumstances? If not, it is not because of international condemnation for the last jaunt. They could care. It is because they could not afford another defeat -and Hezbollah, by far the best organised political grouping, would benefit immensly from Lebanese political chaos.
What the Lebanese seem to want above all is an end to the middle east proxy war being fought within Lebanese politics - a condition to which it is predisposed by the official recognition that different officeholders must come from Christian, Shia and Sunni communities. In the undermining of national sovereignty by both the Iraq invasion - and the US's shameful refusal to condemn the 2006 Israeli invasion - there's less chance of that than any.
Which leaves the grim prospect that the place will be another piece of collatoral damage from "military humanitarianism", suffering a civil war that would be a sort of 70s nostalgia trip, a worse example of such - if you exclude of course the recent revival of Xanadu, the musical - it is hard to imagine.

http://www.crikey.com.au/Politics/20070921-Lebanese-vote-an-exercise-in-confusion.html